WASHINGTON – After six long years tirelessly pursuing its mission to “investigate and expose waste, fraud, and abuse” in the executive branch, staffers at the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform are excited to begin their vacations when Donald Trump is sworn in Friday January 20th.

“It’s like a dream come true.” Says one Congressional staffer. “Four years paid vacation! People said I was crazy when I left the private sector. I tried to explain you can’t look at salary numbers without factoring in the full benefits that come with a government job.”

“I just started up on EVE online.” said another anonymous source. “I joined a corporation [Ed note: the EVE online equivalent of a clan] run entirely by staffers at the House Ethics Committee. I’m hoping that at the end of four years I’ll have mined enough Tritanium to purchase an Apocalypse battleship. You gotta be able to set reachable goals in a cut throat town like Washington.”

House Oversight staffers did express condolences to their colleagues at the Senate committee on Homeland Security and Government Affairs, who while freed from their oversight duties will still have to handle homeland security responsibilities. “I’m planning to become a sudoku master while those poor fucks are stuck trying to stop goat fuckers from blowing up the Hoover dam” Said Brandon Trevino of Rep. Jason Chaffetz’s (R-UT) office. “Have fun getting blamed when some autism spectrum hacker crashes the electrical grid suckers.”

Brandon Trevino was the only staffer to insist on being quoted under his real name saying “my boss is a serial rapist in open violation of the emoluments clause. I’m never getting fired. Trump forever baby.”