Put the Entire $4.5 Trillion of Bailout Money into the Trump Organization 

Recently the US congress passed the CARES Act by a unanimous 96-0 vote in the Senate and a voice vote in the House. One of the provisions of this act sets aside a $454 billion fund which is to be utilized under the direction of the Federal Reserve and the Treasury Department to provide “liquidity to the financial system” however they define that. This $454 billion can be used to create special purpose vehicles which can in turn be leveraged 10 times making the total pool of cash available a whopping $4.5 trillion. Not only does Donald Trump have legal authority under the act to put every last penny of this $4.5 trillion into the Trump Organization, he has a moral obligation to every citizen of this country to do so.

If the President or his advisors are worried about the political ramifications of undertaking this action I would first say that nobody even has to know. Under the text of the bill passed the Federal Reserve does not have to maintain any written records of what they do with this money and does not have to respond to any Freedom of Information Act requests regarding it until the end of this year (after the election). The bill supposedly sets up an Inspector General to investigate how the money is used but in a signing statement Trump rightly said he will ignore it. The bill supposedly bars Trump family members from receiving the money but Trump has correctly refused to concede that point. If the text of the bill does not require records of where the money goes to be kept how could anybody possibly prove that any of it ever ended up in the coffers of the Trump Organization?

Trump should first verbally direct Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin and Federal Reserve Chairman Jay Powell to immediately deposit $4.5 trillion into a series of Bermuda based shell corporations controlled by the Trump Organization. If they refuse to do so he should fire them and replace them with two people who will (I am happy to fill either of their roles). He should then direct his Federal Reserve chairman to invoke his or her authority in writing under the “unusual and exigent circumstances” of the covid-19 emergency to cease maintaining (and destroy all existing) written records related to this money. As this money is technically a loan the Trump Organization can either employ the 0.25% interest rates it is receiving from the Federal Reserve to become a chartered bank and credit card company then use the spread on the higher interest rates they are able to charge their customers to meet interest payments to the Fed or if this presents any difficulty Trump should just direct the Fed to roll over all loans indefinitely.

Once the money is secured the Trump administration should enter into a ‘starve the beast’ strategy. No more bailout money for anybody for any reason. No money should flow from the federal government to any company in the United States whether it is a bank, an airline, a small business, a casino, a cruise line, anything. Instead any publicly traded company in need of funds should be directed to a new Trump Organization program which will purchase equity shares in them at 1 cent per dollar for the 52 week high in their share price. Small businesses can be absorbed using a similar formula for previous year’s annual revenue. So long as the covid-19 shut down continues the Trump Organization will come to own a large if not controlling share of all economic activity that occurs in the United States. For good measure the Department of Justice should be directed to engage in antitrust actions against Amazon and Wal-Mart in order to brow beat them into falling in line and selling significant equity stakes to Trump.

The economic control and total power that this strategy will give to Donald Trump and his family has no precedent in modern history. The 4 major US airlines can be purchased by the Trump Organization and directed to paint the Trump logo on all of their planes. Liberals will be rendered physically incapable of flight. The United States Postal Service can be privatized and sold to Trump: liberals will no longer be able to order dildos in the mail without being severely triggered by the sight of a delivery man with Trump’s name emblazoned on his uniform approaching their mailbox. Quite simply the level of owning the libs that could be achieved through this policy would be total and borderline genocidal. This would be the Tsar Bomba, the death star, and the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs of owning the libs all rolled into one. Liberals will no longer be able to engage in any economic activity without supporting the President and many will simply starve to death. It won’t matter if Donald Trump loses the election in November: he will have bought the entire country in a leveraged buyout.

The arguments for why Trump should do this are many, varied, and all persuasive. If he does not intercede in the way I have suggested the money will just flow to the same six criminal Wall Street banks who got bailed out in 2008 and they will use it exactly as abusively as he would but with less public scrutiny. Socialists should critically support his pursuit of this policy because it would possibly highlight the contradictions inherent in our state capitalist financial system and direct more public scrutiny to it but mostly because it would make the libs mad and extremely owned. I am not a supporter of the President but I pledge the following here for the world to see: Mr. President if you put all of, or the vast majority of, the CARES Act bailout money into your own company you will earn my vote this November.